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Don't Hug Me, We're Married

Full-Length Musical, Comedy  /  2w, 3m

Book & Lyrics by Phil Olson
Music by Paul Olson

Don't Hug Me, We’re Married is the fifth in the smash hit Don't Hug Me series of musical comedies. The others include Don’t Hug Me , A Don’t Hug Me Christmas Carol , A Don’t Hug Me County Fair and Don’t Hug Me, I’m Pregnant , also available from Samuel French! The Don’t Hug Me musicals are all stand-alone musicals. You do not have to see them in any particular order to fully enjoy them.

Don't Hug Me, We're Married

  • Cast Size
    Cast Size
    2w, 3m
  • Duration
    Duration
    120 minutes (2 hours)
  • SubGenre
    Subgenre
    Not Applicable
  • Audience
    Target Audience
    Adult, Teen (Age 14-18)

Details

Summary

Don’t Hug Me, We’re Married takes place in a small north woods bar in Bunyan Bay, Minnesota. Gunner and Clara Johnson are owners of the bar, they’ve been married “a long time,” the romance has left the marriage, and Clara would like to get it back. When Gunner finds a pamphlet that Clara was hiding for “Divorce Fantasy Camp,” he realizes he needs to do something to convince his wife he’s a good husband. At the same time, Bernice, the pretty waitress, gets engaged to Aarvid, a karaoke salesman. Gunner’s twin sister, Trigger (played by Gunner) comes to town and proposes to Kanute, the local business icon. It’s a double wedding. Will anyone get cold feet? Would someone try to derail the wedding? Will Clara go to Divorce Fantasy Camp? What could possibly go wrong? Everything. Rest assured, nothing will go as wedding-planned in Bunyan Bay.

Featuring 16 original songs including, “The Marriage Test,” “Marriage is Forever,” “Lower Expectations,” “I’m Gettin’ Hitched,”  “The Day That Bob Dylan Was Here,” “It’s All Comin’ Together” and “We’re All Gonna Die.”

Don't Hug Me, We’re Married is the fifth in the smash hit Don't Hug Me series of musical comedies. The others include Don’t Hug Me, A Don’t Hug Me Christmas Carol, A Don’t Hug Me County Fair and Don’t Hug Me, I’m Pregnant, also available from Samuel French! The Don’t Hug Me musicals are all stand-alone musicals. You do not have to see them in any particular order to fully enjoy them.

History
Don't Hug Me, We're Married was first produced at The Lonny Chapman Group Rep Theatre in Los Angeles, California, in October 2014. The artistic directors were Larry Eisenberg and Chris Winfield, the president was Bert Emmett, the production was directed by Doug Engalla, and the choreography was by Stan Mazin. 
Cast Attributes
CLARA JOHNSON – Gunner's wife. Co-owner of a bar called "The Bunyan," who's been married to Gunner for a long time. Likeable. Playfully sarcastic, not mean-spirited. Above all, she really does love Gunner.
GUNNER JOHNSON – Clara's husband. Strong willed co-owner of The Bunyan. A north woods Archie Bunker.
BERNICE LUNDSTROM – Pretty, young, wholesome, innocent, waitress at The Bunyan. Dreams of going to Broadway.
KANUTE GUNDERSON – Oblivious, dense, harmless, full-of-himself business owner.
AARVID GISSELSEN SLICK – Fast-talking karaoke salesman. A north woods “Music Man.”
TRIGGER JOHNSON – Gunner's twin sister. Played by Gunner. A forest ranger, Doesn't get along with Gunner. Feminine, likes to hug, the opposite of Gunner. She desperately wants to find a man.

The role of Trigger Johnson is doubled by the same actor playing Gunner Johnson. 

  • Time Period Contemporary, Present Day, New Millennium/21st Century
  • Setting Late June at The Bunyan, a little bar in Bunyan Bay, Minnesota.
  • Features Contemporary Costumes/Street Clothes
  • Duration 120 minutes (2 hours)
  • Cautions
    • Mild Adult Themes

Media

“Entertainment with a barrel of laughs.” – Broadway World

“It has it all… romance, sidesplitting comedy, great musical numbers, and just downright good fun.” – NoHoArtsDistrict.com

“Sheer comedic perfection.” – Tolucan Times

“A wonderful montage of song, dance, humor.” – LA Examiner

ON BREAKING CHARACTER

Don’t Hug Us, We’re Brothers
by Phil Olsen and Paul Olsen
April 30, 2012

Music

  • Musical Style Classic Broadway
  • Vocal DemandsEasy
  • Orchestra Size Piano Only
  • Chorus Size No Chorus

Licensing & Materials

  • Licensing fees and rental materials quoted upon application.

Music Rentals

Concord offers a full suite of resources to help you put on the show of a lifetime!

6 Piano-Vocal Scores
Accompaniment Tracks CD

Performance Tracks required for production.

Add-Ons

Take a look below at how you can enhance your show!

Authors

Phil Olson

Phil Olson grew up in Edina, Minnesota, home of the first indoor mall. His father’s grandparents came over from Norway and homesteaded a farm north of Fargo, North Dakota. His mother’s grandparents also came over from Norway and ended up in Virginia, Minnesota; the iron range ...

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Author

Paul Olson

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